The Headshot
The first weapon in the actor's arsenal. The headshot is your 8"x10," black & white ticket to ride the gravy train. It's the first look at you the agents get, so choose your photographer wisely. The really good ones have ponytails and scruffy beards. So do the really bad ones. If your photographer asks you to wear negligee to your photo session that's a pretty good sign that the ol' ponytail's pulled a little too tight, if you know what I mean. If your photographer says something like: "We aren't here to shoot drama. You're trying to sell cookies. Start smiling!," you're on the right track.

The Resume
Accompanies the headshot. If you're worried that you don't have a lot of experience, do what lots of actors do: lie.

The Agent
Agents can be your best friend or your worst enemy. They work for you. And yet, they don't. Some won't take you on if they have other actors who share your "look." Some will. If you're a jerk at an audition you won't hear about it. But they will.

The Casting Agent
Calls your talent agent looking on behalf of the client. Casting agents were shepherds in their previous lives based on their ability to herd dozens of braying actors at a time through the average casting session. Always be nice to people who work in casting, no matter how miserable you feel. The receptionist who's telling your agent how much of a jerk you were might be casting you someday.

The Union Card
Your SAG Card used to mean that you'd studied your craft, worked your way up, and therefore earned the card by doing professional acting work. Today any idiot can get a SAG card by doing three days as an extra on a SAG Extra voucher, whatever that is. (No matter what they tell you, "extra" work isn't acting. And "Background Artists" aren't artists.)

SAG even gave some people SAG Cards for volunteering during the commercials strike. Good on the volunteers— but no self-respecting union should rely on volunteers to man a picket.

The long of it is this: no self-respecting actor goes in the business to be a non-union actor. At the same time, it's smart to get your feet wet doing the non-union corporate stuff, student films, and so on. So you're going to need a union card to be taken seriously. Even if the union, on occasion, runs like a bunch of clowns are in charge.

The Acting Teacher
Helps you find the actor within, whether you like it or not. The acting teacher is not a therapist. If an acting teacher tells you "I'll make you a star!," hold on to your wallet. If the teacher has an honorary wing at the local 12-step facility, has a studio located in a third-floor walkup, accepts tuition on the installment plan, and tells you it'll be at least ten years before you can expect to make even an imitation of a living, you're probably on to a pretty good thing. Because the truth don't always come gift-wrapped, kid.

The Moral
Stay away from people who tell you what you want to hear

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