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The
Actors' Prayer
by Richard
Bischoff
Oh Great
Director-in-the-Sky
Do you ever look down and wonder why?
I flip them burgers night and day;
Sell appliances to make ends meet;
Hand out flyers on the street.
Help my dream come to fruition;
Let me win just one audition!
It doesn't have to be for major bucks;
But hey God, sometimes, my life sucks!
Residuals sure would mean a lot;
I'd pay back all these bill's I've got,
Buy human food instead of Spam,
Buy new clothes instead of second hand.
I'm not looking for mass adoration;
Just a little less humiliation.
And a new set of headshots
so I don't look so fat...
Oh and by the way:
Would you like fries with that? |
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St.
Genesius, the patron saint of actors, was a popular actor in
Roman times. He had a pretty good gig, doing shows for the emperor,
commercials for wine makers, and stuff like that.
Then he was forced by the
emporer to do a blasphemous play, written by — the emperor.
Like all actors, he took the gig, even though it wasn't his
cup of tea. Then, in the middle of the show, he suddenly got
a conscience. He stopped the show, complained about the script,
and embraced Christianity.
For this act of ad-libbing,
he was drawn and quartered, beheaded, and chopped into little
pieces. Not in that order. This made him the first artist
to lose a government arts grant.
For all of you who have
to do crap-ass-bonehead jobs to make ends meet while you wait
for that big gig...this prayer's for you.
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