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What
Type Of Actor Are You?
Casting Directors, Advertising Agencies, Talent Agents, all
want to know one thing: What is your type? How can they cast
you? Are you a young father type, middle-aged executive, edgy
drifter? Therein lies the key. Knowing your type is essential
to knowing what roles fit your "look" best. For
instance, I look in the mirror and see Warren Beatty. The
mirror sees Ned Beatty. So you've got to know how to cast
yourself as the casting directors see you...not as you see
you.
Talker
Attends every seminar known
to man. Knows everything there is to know about finding an
agent, winning auditions, working in LA or New York. Full
of free advice. Lives with parents. Sells shoes for a living.
Only acting consists of practicing monologue in front of bathroom
mirror.
Climber
Has looks, maybe even talent,
but expects job on a silver platter. Sucks up to anybody who
can provide a break. Flaunts surgically enhanced cleavage,
if female, biceps if male. Some flaunt both. Pretty much despised
by Ïreal"actors."Usually succeeds.
Artiste
Lives in a loft. Fashionable
hairstyle. Pontificates endlessly on the struggles of acting.
Gets rent check from Mom every month.
Bragger
Ego: Texas. Talent: Thimble.
Makes a big show of schmoozing with director and stars. Always
first in line for free coffee. Delivers headshots to director's
trailer every morning. Known as "King of the Extras,"
by actors and agents alike.
Starving Artist:
Has a master's degree in
theatre. Works as a waiter. Rents a room by the subway. Puts
up with total harassment from yuppie relatives who own their
own homes and work nine-to-five and are secretly jealous.
Would rather act than breath which is often the case. Lives
from audition to audition. Has no life.
Deadbeat:
Lives in one-bedroom apartment
with a wall bed. Works out of home doing websites. Lives from
check-to-check while he lives for commercial auditions. Survives
on care packages. Late 30's, single, no visible assets, except
for an '89 VW Jetta.* And a bunch of parking tickets.
*As of this writing
(September, 2002,) I just moved up to a
'91 VW Cabriolet.
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